Tag Archives: motivation

Mooning the personal trainer

Mooning the personal trainer

I was called onto this morning’s Maz, Dan and Shane breakfast show on Nova 919, to do a bit of dream detective work on the embarrassing dream Maz had just shared with the listeners.

“I woke up when Josh Pyke mooned me and my new personal trainer,” she laughed. She had the dream the night after her introductory PT session, and she was doubtful that she’d be able to keep a straight face during her second session later today.

In the dream, she and her new PT went to a gig at an amphitheatre near her old primary school, to hear Australian singer-songwriter Josh Pyke. When she went up to the stage to introduce Josh Pyke to her PT, he mooned them.

Nova style radio means getting to the – ahem – bottom line pretty swiftly, give or take a bit of banter.

“If you want to succeed with your exercise goals, you’ll need to understand your mooning attitude,” I began, perhaps mysteriously. “Which three words would you use to describe Josh Pyke’s personality?”

“Chilled out, a chiller, friendly,” Maz replied.

“So there’s a chilled out part of you that feels like mooning your PT,” I suggested.

“So there’s a chilled out part of you that feels like mooning your PT,” I suggested.

“So there’s a chilled out part of you that feels like mooning your PT,” I suggested. “And because your primary school comes up in the dream, this probably goes back to how you felt about training and discipline back in your primary school days.”

“I was 110% committed at primary school,” Maz observed.

Every aspect has its shadow – or balance – and for committed, disciplined people there’s always a chilled out side hanging in the shadows. Sometimes we’re driven to extremes (like 110% discipline) by a fear of the opposite extreme (totally chilled out).

“I was 110% committed at primary school,” Maz observed.

“I was 110% committed at primary school,” Maz observed.

Things began to click for Maz. In her introductory session, her PT had discussed nutrition, and she said she began to think, “Oh, no! I’ll have to give up booze, foods I love …”.  She could relate to the feeling of mooning the whole PT idea in favour of chilling out. But by the time she went to bed, she said she’d decided to “110%” commit to her personal training goals.

Maz’s dream reflects the way her mind processed all of this – as all dreams do.

I pointed out some dream word play: her introductory PT session became, in the dream, an introduction to her PT.

Dreams cleverly convey levels of meaning and visual word play, and I suggested to Maz that the mooning may reflect deeper feelings of being quite happy with her butt the way it is (assuming her training also targeted this area).

I returned to the opening bottom line.

Better to add some balance, to add some chill, to get the right mix to make it fun and achievable.

Better to add some balance, to add some chill, to get the right mix to make it fun and achievable.

“If you want to succeed with your exercise goals, you’ll need to understand your mooning attitude. Giving your PT 110% discipline may lead to burn out. Better to add some balance, to add some chill, to get the right mix to make it fun and achievable, and maybe, just maybe, to factor in being happy with your butt the way it is.”

Maz related to this, and I’m sure the memory of the dream mooning incident will bring a chuckle and a chill factor to her workout this afternoon.

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The open door

The open door

Twenty-one years ago, I dreamed I was trying to get into a building by pushing through one of its solid brick walls. It was hard work that got me nowhere at all. All it did was exhaust me. I stood back, walked around the house, and discovered an open door. I realised that the door had been open all this time.

This short, simple dream helped me to see that there was a much easier way for me to get to where I wanted to be. I realised that I believed the way was tough, that I needed to push to achieve my goal. What an exhausting belief!

I believed the way was tough, that I needed to push to achieve my goal. What an exhausting belief!

I believed the way was tough, that I needed to push to achieve my goal. What an exhausting belief!

I had this dream a year before I began my research into dreams, and my interpretation, while insightful and life-changing for me, was basic. If you brought this same dream to me for a dream therapy session, we would spend a full hour exploring the many concurrent levels of meaningful insight such a dream offers, and I would lead you through a dream alchemy practice to transform limiting beliefs that block your progress into more rewarding ones that open your way.

When I had this dream, I hadn’t done the research, hadn’t developed and tested the concept of dream alchemy, hadn’t seen or experienced the power of working with dreams at such a deep level. It was enough for me, back then, to stand back and look at where I pushed hard in life – and why – and then to look for the open door, the opportunity I was not seeing. And this approach worked quite magically for me.

Now, looking back with twenty years professional experience in working with dreams, I also see the building as me, the brick walls as my solid beliefs, my pushing on the walls as a readiness to breakthrough my beliefs (my illusions of reality), and the open door as the result of surrender to change.

Surrender to change

Surrender to change

Each interpretation is correct. The same dream – any dream- can be interpreted on a physical level (pushing hard is exhausting you, there’s an easier way), a mental level (you have a belief that you need to push to achieve your goal), an emotional level (you have this belief because of the emotional rewards it gives you, and because you fear what will happen if you release this belief), and a spiritual level (surrender). And this is only a beginning. There are many other interpretation levels, each adding dimensions to the one emerging picture of why your life is the way it is at this particular point in time, and what you can do to change this, if you wish.

The journey – as the old cliché reminds us – is more important than the destination. A goal gives you purpose, inspiration, motivation, and a sense of achievement when you attain it, but it’s the insights you receive along the way that build physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual mastery.

No matter which goal you choose, the lessons inherent in the journey will be the same.

No matter which goal you choose, the lessons inherent in the journey will be the same.

Choose goals that feel important and meaningful to you, or goals that feel fun and enjoyable, or goals that make you face your fears. Pick goals that are big, or small, long-term, or short-term, because no matter which goal you choose, the lessons inherent in the journey will be the same.

Twenty-one years ago, I walked through an open door. I no longer remember the goal I had in mind at the time of the dream, but the lesson was life-changing.

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Driven

What drives you to get out of bed in the morning?

What drives you to get out of bed in the morning?

What drives you to get out of bed in the morning? Hunger for food, a full bladder, a sense of duty, a need to earn money, a passion for your work, your baby’s cry, fear of being late for work, hunger for success, a sense of adventure?

Before reading on, have a think about all the things that get you moving during a typical day. As well as some of the above, perhaps you are driven by love, sex, exercise, chocolate, alcohol, drugs, helping others, a need for order, curiosity, a wish to learn, friendship, self-improvement, high drama, a need to impress, to be right, to feel valued, to set a score, to atone, to hide, to be seen.

Take a moment to list the top ten things that drive you through a typical day. Write them down.

It’s easy to see how your drives affect how you act each day. Hunger drives you to find and eat food. Thirst drives you to reprioritise all other plans while you find and drink fluid of some kind. A caffeine addiction drives you to plan your morning around the required number of coffee, tea or coke hits. A need to be right drives you to argue the point instead of negotiating a win-win situation or learning something new. If you’re driven to help others, you may avoid asking for help. If you’re driven by a sense of adventure, you’ll take risks, and if you’re driven by a need for high drama to keep life interesting you’ll stir it up good.

All of this is easy to understand. Our drives ultimately dictate our actions, and our actions dictate the outcomes of our lives.

STOP RIGHT THERE!

It’s all well and good to acknowledge what drives you and to see how it affects the way you go about your life, but what about those drives you DON’T know about? Your unconscious drives – those deeply embedded beyond your awareness – have a strong grip of the wheel. In any battle between the drives you know about (your conscious drives) and your unconscious drives, the unconscious wins.

Imagine, for example, feeling driven to succeed in your career – making all the right moves, getting excited about the prospects, heading for the right goals – yet having a conflicting unconscious drive to avoid commitments of all kinds, including commitment to career. In this scenario you’re likely to wonder why things never quite succeed in the way you imagined, why unforeseen circumstance seems to conspire against you at the last moment, why ‘bad luck’ seems to dog you, and why, if you listen very carefully, you hear a whisper of relief at the back of your mind as you think, ‘Ah well, at least I’m free to ….’

This is where dreams come in.

And in a simple, easy to interpret way too.

The driver represents a driving force in your life

The driver represents a driving force in your life

Have you ever dreamed of being in a car, in the passenger or back seat, with someone else driving? It’s a common dream. The person driving the car – the person driving you somewhere – represents a driving force in your life at the time of the dream.

It’s usually a car. We ‘drive’ cars, and, as dreams often use word play, cars can symbolise your drive or motivation. The person behind the wheel symbolises the prime driving force. However your driving force might be driving any vehicle in your dream, or driving an animal – either riding it or shepherding it.

If you dream of being driven by someone you know, your father perhaps, then ask yourself if you’re driven by your father’s expectations, or by the kinds of beliefs your father subscribed to. And remember, we’re talking unconscious drives here, so you may think you’re very different from your father, but if your father’s driving you in your dreams, then there’s an aspect of your father driving you deep in your unconscious. Once you think about this possibility and examine your life for evidence of its effect, you’ll see it. That’s the way you catch an unconscious drive – getting the clue from a dream and then collecting the evidence from your waking life. You can then decide whether this drive is working for you or against you, and disable it if you wish.

As soon as you’re aware of an unconscious drive, it’s no longer unconscious, so it loses its power. From that point forward you can observe the way you respond in life and question the driving force behind your response. For enduring results you can apply dream alchemy practices.

When interpreting a driving dream, write down three words to describe the personality or approach of the person driving your dream vehicle. For example, if Jack (an acquaintance of yours) is driving your car, you might write ‘proud, dutiful, reliable’. Ask yourself if, at the time of your dream, your actions may have been driven by pride, duty or reliability. (It’s likely to be at least one of the three on your list.) Look for evidence in your life, especially in the day or two before your dream. What actions did you take that could be explained by pride, duty or reliability?

What if your dream car is driven by someone you don’t know in waking life? Your dream driver’s character will have been evident in the dream by the actions taken, the way you were treated, or the gut feel you got from the person. For example, if your dream driver seemed really helpful – perhaps even over-the-top helpful – then it’s likely that you were driven by an unconscious need to help at the time of your dream. In this example, if the dream worked out well, then all is good, but if the dream did not work out well, or remained unresolved, then ask yourself why you’re driven to help others and why this might not be ‘getting you anywhere’.

If your driver isn’t getting you anywhere in your dream, then that drive isn’t getting you anywhere in your life.

Your dream driver might take you back to your past ...

Your dream driver might take you back to your past …

Your dream driver might take you back to the past – perhaps your school days, somewhere you used to work or live. This often indicates the origin of the drive.

We think of drive as a positive thing. It’s good to have drive, to be motivated. But we can be driven by negative as well as positive factors. We can be driven by greed, by a need to dominate, by a need to avoid a feeling or issue. We can be driven to prove ourselves to someone, to sabotage our plans to avoid the things we think success will bring, to appease, to suffer the pain we think we deserve.

There’s a difference between driving and being driven, but is there a difference between having drive and being driven? Maybe, maybe not, but I can guarantee that if you take this question and contemplate it today, you’ll be wiser by the bedtime and set up to dream of drives yet to be revealed.

[Copyright Jane Teresa Anderson, March 2008. First published as a Dream Sight article.]

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