Tag Archives: loss

Episode 128 The Dream Show: When redundancy threatens and nightmares begin

When redundancy threatens and nightmares begin

Around 20,000 public servants with permanent or long term contracts in Brisbane are expected to lose their jobs over the coming weeks. Some already know their fate, while others turn up to work each day not knowing whether their job will be axed or retained. What kind of dreams are they experiencing as they go through the mix of fear, despair, and perhaps even, for some, a little excitement as they contemplate new opportunities ahead?

My guest this episode is Belinda Reed, founder of The Day Brightener and Servant Hearts. As a Brisbane public servant going through this experience herself, Belinda created a new blog, www.servanthearts.wordpress.com and an associated Facebook page to help provide support, advice, inspiration, hope and heart for her colleagues and co-workers, many of whom are sleeping badly and experiencing nightmares and unsettling dreams.

Belinda Reed established the Servant Hearts blog to help Brisbane public servants facing around 20,000 job losses.

Belinda Reed established the Servant Hearts blog to help Brisbane public servants facing around 20,000 job losses.

I invited Belinda onto The Dream Show to discuss the kinds of dreams her colleagues are experiencing, to help people worldwide who feel anxious about the security of their jobs, or who are in the process of being let go.

Belinda brings specific dreams to the show. There’s one from a woman who dreamed of chopping off her hair, and one from a man who dreamed of being on a bus of unsure destination. Other dreams included one about a hotel eviction and one about a rainy, flood-threatening day. And while you may read these short summaries and feel that their interpretations are obvious, the value in understanding these dreams at a deep level is that each dreamer gains specific insight into the aspects of their mindset that determine the way they view, experience, and respond to their situation. This leads to new awareness and the choice – aided by dream alchemy exercises – to experience the same situation in a less stressful, more constructive, and potentially richly rewarding way.

The Dream Show, a free monthly podcast with Jane Teresa AndersonWhether you have job worries or not, there’s plenty to learn in this episode about dreams, why we have them, how they relate to waking life, and how we can use them to transform our waking life experiences for the better.

Listen, enjoy, and please share.

(Our next show, episode 129, will be released in four weeks, on 24 August 2012.)

Subscribe to The Dream Show by email, RSS, iTunes

Consultation services

Related articles you might enjoy

What if?

What if?

Navigating changing times

Navigating changing times

 

 

 

 

TwitterLinkedInDiggStumbleUponTumblrShare

Painful emotions in dreams

"I dreamed that my wife married another man."

“I dreamed that my wife married another man. It was such a vivid dream and I felt very devastated, felt the pain of losing her in that way. What does it mean?”

This plea for help arrived on my desk this week, and as it is such a common and worrying dream theme, I decided to share some guidelines for those of you who know the deep emotional pain this kind of dream can deliver in the middle of the night, and the anxiety its imprint can leave over the next few days.

What makes a dream vivid? Think about the last really vivid dream you had. We may describe a dream as being vivid if it was particularly colourful, or unusually clear, or intensely numinous, or if it offered spiritual comfort, or spiritual discomfort, or if taste, smell, touch and hearing senses were heightened. We may regard a dream as vivid because it was unusually surreal, or because it was totally believable, as if it really happened.

Different people will have different opinions on what makes a dream vivid, but they usually have one thing in common – heightened emotion. That emotion may be uplifting, such as intense love, awe, surprise, joy, elation. Or it may be painful, such as intense devastation, loss, betrayal, fear, guilt, horror, shock.

We feel intense emotions in our dreams when those same emotions have been triggered at some level in our waking life.

We feel intense emotions in our dreams when those same emotions have been triggered at some level in our waking life.

We feel intense emotions in our dreams when those same emotions have been triggered at some level in our waking life. Remember, dreams reflect our conscious and unconscious experiences of the last 24-48 hours, and it’s the nature of dreams to be dramatic. The man who felt the pain of loss in his dream about his wife marrying another man, was processing feelings of loss triggered by events during the two days before his dream.

It’s most likely that this man felt a prickle of loss in some area of his life, whether that was in his public or private life, whether it was around his work, his personal life, his spiritual life, his sense of pride, his creativity, his finances, his hopes for the future, his physical health, his long-term goals. The list is endless, but the full details of his dream, once interpreted, would reveal the story and the deeper issues underlying his feelings of loss.

The prickle of loss he felt would have been the tip of the iceberg, the full extent of the emotion remaining unconscious.

The prickle of loss he felt would have been the tip of the iceberg, the full extent of the emotion remaining unconscious.

The prickle of loss he felt would have been the tip of the iceberg, the full extent of the emotion remaining unconscious. (The intensity of the emotion in the dream informs us that it registered deep in his unconscious.) You might think that feeling it lightly (just a prickle) is a good thing, but it’s not. When we push intense emotions down into our unconscious mind, they grow in power. Our unconscious emotions (and beliefs, and experiences) drive the way we live our lives, though we are oblivious to this unless we pay attention to our dreams.

This man was clearly shocked by his dream. The fidelity of his relationship is not in question. This dream is not about his relationship with his wife. It is about an area of his life that he had regarded as committed, settled, secure (like his marriage), but that felt shaky around the time of his dream. His dreaming mind pictured his feeling of painful loss and devastation as being like losing a treasured commitment, a foundation stone of his life – his wife.

This kind of dream can come up when you feel threatened by a change in your life. That change might be good, such as deciding to give up a commitment to a previous plan (perhaps a career or business) to commit to a new and better option, or it might be more challenging, such as losing a job due to your employer’s changed commitments.

When change requires us to give up something of our old way, or our old beliefs or attitudes, we often need to process a deep sense of loss (or we push it into our unconscious to try to avoid the pain). When we choose the change ourselves, the old self can feel abandoned or betrayed by the new self. When change is forced upon us, that sense of abandonment or betrayal may feel closer to the surface, and we may find ourselves blaming outside sources – the employer, the economy, the system – rather than taking the healing route of processing the pain and letting it go.

It is about an area of his life that he had regarded as committed, settled, secure (like his marriage), but that felt shaky around the time of his dream.

It is about an area of his life that he had regarded as committed, settled, secure (like his marriage), but that felt shaky around the time of his dream.

This man dreamed his wife married another man. Somewhere in his life, during the 24-48 hours before his dream, he experienced a shift in commitment which triggered feelings of loss and devastation. His best way forward is to acknowledge these feelings, explore them and understand them so that the choices he makes from now on come from a place of growth rather than from a place of loss.

Consultation services

Related articles you might enjoy

Cheating dreams

Cheating dreams

When you wake up crying

When you wake up crying

TwitterLinkedInDiggStumbleUponTumblrShare

Love your bad dreams

Transform a wicked witch into a good fairy by whatever way feels good to you when you rewrite your dream.

Here’s a simple formula to apply when you have an unsettling or frightening dream and you want to reduce the chances of having it again. Actually, it’s far more powerful than this. Not only does this formula ease your dreams, it also creates deep and lasting positive change in your waking life by subtly reprogramming your unconscious mind to solve the issue causing the bad dreams. Here’s what to do.

Love your bad dreams into good ones. Do this by rewriting your dream in your journal, or visualising it in your mind’s eye, changing the bad storyline into a good one, making sure that all your changes come from a place of love. Here are some examples.

Love your losses into founds, your deaths into births, your failures into successes, your limitations into freedoms, your lateness into smooth timeliness,  your obstacles into open roads, your judgements into forgiveness, your muddy waters into crystal pools, your intruders into friends, your poverty into wealth, your wicked witches into good fairies, your broken down cars into golden chariots, your tsunamis into relaxing spas, your hurts into healings, your heavy luggage into uplifting wings, and your scary shadows into loving light.

When a wicked witch receives love, she can’t help but be instantly transformed into a good fairy.

When a wicked witch receives love, she can’t help but be instantly transformed into a good fairy.

The key is transformation. For example, don’t kill a wicked witch because this leaves a hole in your psyche. Everything and everyone in your dreams represents something about you and your beliefs and feelings about life, so anything you do to anyone or anything in a dream (or a dream rewrite) you are really doing to yourself. Transform a wicked witch into a good fairy by whatever way feels good to you when you rewrite your dream. Best of all is to use love as the transforming force. When a wicked witch receives love, she can’t help but be instantly transformed into a good fairy.

Finish your rewrite with a bit of wisdom and a happily ever after ending. Reread it, or replay it in your mind’s eye, over and over again, making sure you feel uplifting emotions and plenty of love throughout. Take that ‘happily ever after’ feeling forward into your day.

As you can see, Patricia has transformed the worried male alchemist in my last blog's image of  The Alchemist in Search of the Philosophers' Stone, by Joseph Wright of Derby (1734-1797), into a radiant woman.

As you can see, Patricia has transformed the worried male alchemist in my last blog’s image of The Alchemist in Search of the Philosophers’ Stone, by Joseph Wright of Derby (1734-1797), into a radiant woman.

Today’s blog is from my book 101 Dream Interpretation Tips, and, talking of transformation, I know you’ll love this reworking of the image from last week’s blog, Alchemy and Dream Interpretation. Patricia Mottram, from Ayurveda TLC, reworked the image and sent it me saying, “I had to play with the picture of the old male alchemist who looks very worried that it’s all going to blow up in his face!”

As you can see, Patricia has transformed the worried male alchemist in The Alchemist in Search of the Philosophers’ Stone, by Joseph Wright of Derby (1734-1797), into a radiant woman. I have it on good authority that it is, indeed, Patrica herself. Nice bit of alchemy, hey?

Consultation services

Related articles you might enjoy

Theme alchemy

Theme alchemy

Navigating changing times

Navigating changing times

TwitterLinkedInDiggStumbleUponTumblrShare

Navigating changing times

If the GFC has impacted on your life, what kind of dreams might you be having, and how can understanding these be helpful to you?

If the GFC has impacted on your life, what kind of dreams might you be having, and how can understanding these be helpful to you?

“Global tidal wave of 70,000 job cuts,” announced the online news. “The tsunami of layoffs started in Europe …”

Instantly I got the picture. It’s a metaphor that works. It describes a giant ripple effect of job loss caused by a seismic tremor in the global economy.

It also describes the emotional impact felt or feared by many. Whether you’ve lost your job, know someone who has, fear losing yours, or fear the consequences of widespread job loss and economic challenge, the word tsunami pretty much sums up the feeling of being emotionally overwhelmed, knocked off your feet and potentially dead to the world.

If you’ve ever had a tsunami dream you’ll know the emotional impact these walls of water can produce. After all, in a dream, you think the tsunami is real, don’t you?

Dreams, like some journalists, frequently express themselves in metaphors.

Dreams, like some journalists, frequently express themselves in metaphors.

Dreams, like some journalists, frequently express themselves in metaphors. They may be clichéd, they may lose subtlety, they may be oversimplified, but they can help you to get a quick picture of a complex situation. That picture may be accurate or way off the mark, but it’s a picture, a starting point, one of perhaps many possible perspectives on a situation.

If the global economic situation has impacted on your life – in hard financial terms or worries about the future – what kind of dreams might you be having, and how can understanding these be helpful to you? I’ll outline these. But what if you’re having sleepless nights and lost dream recall? How can you too gain personal insight to help you navigate the tidal waves of changing times?

The classic tsunami dream, common to many dreamers worldwide, paints a picture of the dreamer’s feelings of being overwhelmed, emotionally and, sometimes, on other levels too. The overwhelm is often still unconscious at the time of the dream, as the dreamer still struggles, in waking life, to hold emotions at bay and stay in control. Of course, there are many variations of this dream theme, and the interpretation depends on the dream details, but ‘overwhelm’ is the key emotion the dreamer is processing.

How can we shift perspective and see something positively empowering in a tsunami of global job loss?

How can we shift perspective and see something positively empowering in a tsunami of global job loss?

The question to ask – when interpreting a tsunami dream or a tsunami of global job loss – is how to lessen its impact by processing the overwhelm in a different way, or, better still, how to shift perspective and transform the sense of overwhelm or helplessness into something positively empowering.

Not convinced? If a waterfall can be harnessed to produce electricity, a tsunami can be harnessed to, what? Not a lot, at short notice, practically speaking, but metaphorically speaking a tsunami can move mountains. And, in today’s world, many mountains (huge obstacles) could do with shifting!

People say metaphors can be misleading, and, of course, they can. But even when they’re misleading, practically speaking, they can help us to break through conditioned ways of looking at the world. How can we shift perspective and see something positively empowering in a tsunami of global job loss? It’s a challenge, at personal and global levels. Which obstacles to positive global change need shifting or transforming? Which obstacles to personal change need shifting or transforming?

The Compass helps you to see your life, issues and situations from different perspectives, and enables you to see your way forward to your best future.

The Compass helps you to see your life, issues and situations from different perspectives, and enables you to see your way forward to your best future.

If your anxiety is preventing you from being sufficiently relaxed to recall your dreams, you can work with the kinds of metaphors that dreams – and journalists – use, to help shift your perspective, gain insight and see your way forward. (My book, The Compass, has been created for exactly this purpose. It helps you to see your life, issues and situations from different perspectives, and enables you to see your way forward to your best future.)

Whether or not you recall your dreams, you are dreaming! Around five dreams every night. So what kind of dreams might you be experiencing if your life has been touched by the global economic tsunami of job loss or fear?

Your dreams will probably include one or more of the following:

Dreams of water, such as overwhelming tsunamis, drowning, being sucked under water or mud, inundated or washed away – water tends to represent your emotions, so these dreams reflect your deep and often unconscious emotional responses to your situation or fear.

Dreams of death and birth, but most probably focussed, at first, on death – death tends to represent what is ending (dying off) in your life. Losing a job might be pictured, in a dream metaphor, as a death. All changes, actual or feared, might be seen as deaths in your dreams. Some of those deaths might be unnecessary, as some things might be able to be salvaged with the help of dream interpretation as this reveals how your unconscious beliefs are affecting your responses to your situation or fear. Other dream deaths might be necessary – how else can we move on to new perspectives (and new jobs or new ways of earning money) if we don’t first let go of the old? Dreams of birth are metaphors for how you are progressing with new approaches in your life.

Dreams of loss and not being able to find your way are metaphors for what you feel or fear you are losing (job, security, status) and feelings or fears about your direction.

Look into your dreams for metaphors that seem to match your current situation, then question those metaphors until your current perspective shifts and you begin to see a new way forward.

Look into your dreams for metaphors that seem to match your current situation, then question those metaphors until your current perspective shifts and you begin to see a new way forward.

Dreams of animals may occur during these times, since animals provide apt metaphors for your survival instincts in times of change. Remember that some instincts, established in childhood, may not be appropriate for handling your adult world. These dreams reflect your survival instincts by comparing them to the instincts of various animals.

Finally, look out for dreams that reference your childhood – perhaps the house you lived in as a child, your school, your parents – or that reference past jobs and relationships. These may be referring to your unconscious beliefs about security or finances, triggered by your current situations. Interpreting these provides invaluable insight into how your unconscious beliefs are affecting your responses to your current situation, and provides you with the opportunity to change these.

In each case, look into your dreams for metaphors that seem, to you, to match your current situation, then question those metaphors until your current perspective shifts and you begin to see a new way forward.

[Copyright Jane Teresa Anderson, February 2009. First published as a Dream Sight article.]

Consultation services

Related articles you might enjoy

Theme alchemy

Theme alchemy

What if?

What if?

 

 

TwitterLinkedInDiggStumbleUponTumblrShare