When someone who has died appears to you in a dream, are they communicating with you from spirit, or are these dreams symbolic? Dreaming of a loved one after death can be the most precious, comforting, uplifting experience, especially when the dream is full of love, embraces, and tender messages, and when the person looks healthy, full of life, and perhaps even presents at a different age – younger for someone who died in old age, adult for a child who died young.
Many a bereaved dreamer cherishes such exquisite moments in a dream, and although they wake up to a world empty of their loved one, they draw on strengths from the night-time encounter and a feeling of receiving support from spirit to get through the early days.
People often feel devastated and abandoned when they discover their loved one is appearing in other people’s dreams, but not in their own.
Many more wish they could have just one such dream, and often feel devastated and abandoned when they discover their loved one is appearing in other people’s dreams, but not in their own.
On the other hand, many bereaved people have experienced distressing dreams where the deceased person, who was loving and kind in life, is completely different in dreams – angry, blaming, hurtful, controlling, or condemning. In other cases, people who were difficult in life continue to be difficult in dreams, often leaving the dreamer feeling the deceased person is controlling him and restraining him from moving on with life.
There are instances where accurate information has been communicated by the deceased in dreams, information, for example, about the circumstances of death that have been later verified, however these are extremely rare. Contact through dreams in the early days following death may sometimes be the case, but as time passes, you can be increasingly certain that these dreams are symbolic. If a loving person acts negatively in a dream, you can be certain your dream is symbolic.
When anger, abandonment and blame come up in your dreams, these are your own emotions being processed.
Dreams of the deceased usually deal with grief and healing. For example, it is normal, during grieving, to feel angry with the person for dying and abandoning you, even though this is irrational. When anger, abandonment and blame come up in your dreams, these are your own emotions being processed. When forgiveness and letting go come up in these dreams, these reflect your own readiness to heal and move on, your own resting in peace.
Look at the person appearing in your dream as symbolising your loss, or your feelings about death, or your feelings about that person and the role they played in your life, and then see the rest of the dream as exploring and resolving these issues within yourself.
[Extract from 101 Dream Interpretation Tips, Jane Teresa Anderson]
Further reading: Dreams of death and the departed
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Thankyou so much for this. I had extreme after death communication from my mother last year when she died. I have vivid a lucid dreams every night and it affects my daily living. The people in my dreams pull me further away in my sleep and sometimes its so hard to wake up. Mum doesn’t visit me that much anymore. I think I am having out of body experiences.
Glad this post helps, Josh. Grieving and healing takes time.
Great post Jane Teresa! I find that a dream visitation from a loved one who has passed away usually ‘feels’ different, you aren’t likely to forget it anytime soon. My aunt visited me in a dream 10 years ago and I haven’t forgotten any part of that dream – and it set me out on a brand new path in life too, as a psychic and medium! Now, she often pops up in dreams, but this is more symbolic, and these dreams I tend to forget a day or two later.
Interestingly, her dream visitation involved leading me through her life sequences, where she introduced me to people from her life I was never aware of. My mum was able to verify many of these people and incidents upon waking. It was a wonderful way of not only connecting with my aunt, but better understanding her life through her death.
It’s very special to get that kind of visitation!
Hi Helen,
Thank you for contributing your experience and the way your Mum was able to verify the information your aunt gave you in the dream. It’s so good that you are able to distinguish a visitation from a symbolic dream, as that’s where things can get very tangly and confusing otherwise. The distinguishing features seem to be different for different people. What a treasure your aunt gave you!
Jane Teresa
Hi! My mother passed away nearly 25 years ago. Last night I dreamed we were standing in line for something.. it was not raining..but we all had umbrellas. My mom said to me, “Open your umbrella” and I did.. I started raising up and flying around with this umbrella (yes, like Mary Popins!)..it was amazing! I saw so many things and even a dog I loved that recently passed away! He smelled so clean and looked so healthy! My mom said to me.. you see I told you if you believe in yourself you can do anything! I woke up feeling so ALIVE and happy! She has not visited in quite some time.I have seen her but we have not had a conversation. Last night she spoke and it was as if she were sitting right here with me!
I had to share!
Dana
Hi Dana,
How beautiful, and thank you for sharing this with us all. So now, whenever you need to get in touch with that feeling of being able to do anything you can visualise doing your Mary Poppins thing, summoning up all those positive, encouraging, soaring, flying emotions and feelings. Connecting with that dream memory and feeling it throughout your body will connect you with believing in yourself and everything that flows from that belief. Fly high!
Jane Teresa
My Nephew Patrick passed suddenly on 9-16-2001…The day after his Funeral my daughers friend not knowing of the circumstances told her she has a message to deliver (She is psyic) She asked to come to the house..and delivered messages that were ACCURATE and contained details that no one but me his Aunt and his Mother knew…Also a message from his Grandma (My Mother) who passed years before for me personally…whom I was told was comming to get him..He said she was in Heaven..Surrounded by light and Vibrant !!
I made a mistake..Patrick passed 0n 9-16-2012
My mother in law just passed away on Oct. 15,2012. I have not seen her in my dreams, but I feel her presence around me and her son.I visualize her going past the tunnel towards the light of heaven, running towards her husband who passed away 6 years ago. Hugging each other and saying I finally came home.I also had that experience when my mom passed away and my dad was waiting for her at the golden gates.Their encounter was pure bliss. I can still see the expression of sweetness and peace on my mama’s face and on my mother-in-laws’ face that they are in heaven with the Wonderful God who made them who they were. Love, peace and hope to everyone who lost a loved one. They will always live in your hearts with the love that they have for you. Alice T.
My wife died unexpectedly about 3 and a half weeks ago and it completely distroyed me.I have been looking everywhere for a ring I had bought for her that was vary special couldn’t find it any where.lastnight I’m my dream she showed me exactly where it was, I woke up around 3 am and I went right where it said.it was now that’s crazy.The other dream I have had is I’m sitting with her over a beautifuo lake we have our feet in the water and she tells me over and over again I’m here and when u pass in 4 years 5 days we will be together again that’s what scared me.
Hi Daniel, So sad to hear about your loss. These are such early days and weeks for you as you encounter all the devastating emotions that go with grieving. Your dream about the ring must have been so comforting for you. Sometimes, in the early days, you can receive information in dreams from someone close who has passed. You may also have known the location yourself but forgotten, or been able to tune in to the kind of place where your wife might have put her ring. You’ll never know, but it’s good that you have the ring, that symbol of your relationship, in your hands. While that dream was comforting, I can see that the second dream was scary for you. On the one hand there’s the element of comfort – sitting with your wife over the beautiful lake – but on the other hand there’s those numbers. Rest assured, Daniel, that numbers in dreams are symbolic. Your dream is very unlikely to be a prediction of your death. My feeling for your dream is that – since you mention 3 (3 weeks, 3 am), the 4 and 5 are symbolically a progression: 3,4,5. My feeling for your dream is that as time goes by – 3, 4, 5 months, years – you will move through intense grieving to a feeling of being ‘together’ within yourself. While you’ll always feel the loss of your wife, and always be able to touch that pain, time does heal in the sense that you find a way forward in life and rediscover your vitality, hope, and excitement about life – you get your life ‘together’ again.
You might like to read this article about dreams of the death, dying and the departed: http://www.dream.net.au/library/death_dreams.cfm
Jane Teresa
Hi,
I met my boyfriend on 20th May 2006. After few days he asked me my birth date which is (24th Feb). 24th Feb 2006 happens to be the day when his Dad died due to cancer. Not only that I was born at 8.30 am and he died on 8.30 am as well. Please tell me if it means anything.
A while back on November the 19th my grandad passed away.. Days before his funeral it started to snow and of the day of his funeral it got thicker and faster, Christmas was approaching and he loved snow and Christmas.. Could this be a sign?
My dad died in February of 2009 after a long difficult illness. I am a daddy’s girl and I misshim horribly. My husband died of esophageal cancer July 1, 2010, after a hard debilitating fight. I am still devistated and the ache will not ease up. I have been a detailed dreamer all of my life and over the years feel I have received guideance and warnings that have been very beneficial in my life. I actually look forward to my dreams. Here is the strange part. After my dad’s death I have not had a single dream about him. My mom and brother have dreams and conversations, and experiences but not me. After my husbands death, I dream very rarely about anyone or anything. Out of the few dreams I have had only a few contain my sweetheart. One was exttremely clear, he was caressing my hip just as he use to when he was comforting me. Another one I don’t remember clearly, what I do remember is I did not want to wake up. When I did I was very despondent. Why can’t I dream anymore about the two men who meant the most to me in my whole life. I simply don’t dream 90% of the time and when I do it is chaotic, jumbled, so unclear. I am stuck and missing them so much why can’t we reach each other? I want my dreams back.
Hi Shijitha,
Ah, the mysteries of life! I cannot tell you whether the dates and times you give are significant, but it’s important to find meaning in our lives, and sometimes only we – ourselves – can know what feels meaningful and what doesn’t. Keep your eyes and ears and heart open to the beauty of life.
Jane Teresa
Hi Danielle,
Look at my reply to Shijitha on this same page for my thoughts on this.
Jane Teresa
Hi LeeAnn,
Sorry to hear of your losses and your pain, and that you are feeling so stuck in waking life. Some of the questions you have asked are answered in this article:
http://www.dream.net.au/library/death_dreams.cfm
You are dreaming – everyone dreams – but you are not remembering your dreams. Or you’re not remembering them well: as you say, the ones you recall tend to be chaotic, jumbled, and unclear. There are many reasons why you might not be remembering your dreams so clearly these days. I’d start by getting a dream journal and a pen and putting it by the side of your bed, and telling yourself that you will – of course – remember a dream. Write down anything – even if it is just a word – in the middle of the night. It’s a start that will begin to restore your recall. Here’s some help about how to remember your dreams: http://www.janeteresa.com/how-to-remember-your-dreams/
Your dreams – when you remember them – may be more about why you feel stuck and give insight into how you can get in touch with the flow of life.
You ask why you can’t reach each other. How can you reach into the world in ways that honour your dad and husband?
Hope this helps.
Jane Teresa